no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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