What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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