Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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