Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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