i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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