he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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