They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
