I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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