What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
