I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
