this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize