do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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