I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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