i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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How's work?
Spinning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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