yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
