Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
