you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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