please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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