What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
