They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Welp...herpes.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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