i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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