If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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