do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
