i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
