She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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