dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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