I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Text me some of your sweat
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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