You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
did i just pee glitter
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize