she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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