Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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