i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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