last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
