; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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