At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He has the fingertips of a God
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