Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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