I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
