batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
