you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
