I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We talked him into tasing himself.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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