I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
