scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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