I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish i was in the wii world.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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