I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
