I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
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I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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