i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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