dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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