honey bunches of taint.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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