And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
