I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
