More tranny stories later!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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