The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
