it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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