this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
