my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
