I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
