Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
