Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize