Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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