:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
