Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
