Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im drinking this country out of the recession.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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